� #1
Old 09-04-2010, 05:03 PM
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Saskatchewan Canada
Posts: 505
My Mood: Cool
pinballdoctor is on a distinguished road
Default Sharks..

Why do Sharks swim circles around you before attacking?

Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me, son." the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few more times with all of our fins showing." And they did.

"Now we eat everybody." And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first?
Why did we swim around and around them?

His wise father replied,

"Because they taste better without the shit inside!"
Let Food Be Your Medicine And Medicine Be Your Food.(Hippocrates)
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� #2
Old 09-06-2010, 06:25 AM
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Northern Ky.
Posts: 1,316
My Mood: Cheerful
EarlyBird is on a distinguished road

Funny! And i'll papa shark is right too!
May you always have..Love to Share, Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!
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� #3
Old 09-06-2010, 09:18 AM
Micro Phyte
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 10
My Mood: Inspired
mountainrain is on a distinguished road

HAHA!!!! That is hilarious, pinballdoctor! Thanks for the laugh! Here's one ..maybe not quite so funny but good for a chuckle. Good medicine

A guy dies and he gets up to the pearly gates. St. Peter tells him, "No, I'm sorry, I don't see your name in the Book of Life, you're going to have to go to hell."

The guy is just devastated thinking that he deserves to live in splendor for the rest of time. He tells St. Peter, "There has GOT to be a mistake, my name HAS to be in that book of yours. I was the CEO of the largest corporation in America, I have NEVER been excluded from anything, PLEASE look again."

St. Peter looks again and the result is the same, no name in the big book.

The guy says, "Well, there has GOT to be something you can do, let me talk to your supervisor." St. Peter says, "That's not possible, you have to live in Heaven before you can talk to Him."

The guy says, "Well, would YOU go talk to him on my behalf and tell Him that I will do ANYTHING to get into Heaven, ANYTHING at all." St. Peter agrees and trudges up the diamond paved road over the hill and disappears. A while later he comes back and says, "Good news for you! Heavenly Father says if you can think of ONE good thing you did for the Church or even another human being while you were on Earth, He would reconsider letting you in."

The guy thinks and thinks. It's not easy coming up with something for someone who was so selfish and egotistical.
Then it hit him.....He goes back to talk to St. Peter.

"OK, you said if I can think of ONE thing I did for the Church or another human being while I was on Earth He would let me come into the Kingdom and live for all eternity. I have one thing I did. I put $5.00 in the offering plate just last Sunday at church."

St. Peter goes back down the diamond paved road, trudges back up the hill and then after a while returns. He says, "OK, I told Him what you said and he told me to give you your 5 spot back and tell you to go to hell."
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