I was feeling really horrible this week, just miserable and I couldn't explain it. It had something to do with my cousin bringing home his girlfriend, kissing her, and holding her right in front of me. This went on for a few hours, and I began to think about how I've never kissed a girl. Then that started leading to other thoughts about how my parents raised me and how it was their fault. Then I just felt worthless and I kinda took a kitchen knife and cut a little bit of my arm (more like scratches). When I was done, I couldn't believe what I did and wish I never did that. I have a few marks on my arm, and it is a bit red around the long "scratches" but I was wondering if the knife could cause an infection or anything.
Spidy, now you have me thinking you need some real help. Are you going to spin yourself out, test the waters? push yourself over the edge or are you going to find someone to talk to?
Your posts are often disturbing and we really cannot be much help to you from over a forum. You are going to have to make a choice for your life.
We gave you lots of good info and advice and direction in this thread and this is what you come back with to us? If you can't be your own friend then you don't stand a chance.
YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE LIFE, CHOOSE SANITY, CHOOSE SPIRITUAL FREEDOM, CHOOSE LOVE AND LIGHT IN YOUR LIFE.
no one else can make the choice for you. Go back to this thread and read it all again.
__________________ "The nurse should be cheerful, orderly, punctual, patient, full of faith, - receptive to Truth and Love" Mary Baker Eddy
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Well see I was doing fine until my cousin brought his girl home and all. I was starting to feel better. Not only that, but my neighbor came to me saying "oh, you're turning 17 this week? I'm sure you are dating by now..." and that was a spark. Right now I feel fine, no suicidal thoughts. The problem is that this shows I do have the kind of mind to commit suicide sometime in the future. My dad will freak out if I say I tried to cut myself, and so will my mom. When school starts, I'm going to request to have my counselor see me again (though it has to be off record since it was taken from me. they said I seemed healthy and didn't need it)
but besides this, I also want to talk about the physical problem, with the scar. should I rub alcohol on it?
If it is a scar or scab, it would not be good to put alcohol on it. Wait for the scab to come off by itself. Put jojoba oil or some other penetrating oil on it daily. I think even coconut oil will work. It is also antibacterial. I think that coconut oil might be too drying for long term use.
If you believe in God, no matter what name you give to God (religion), then you would know about the worthiness of dealing with tests and difficulties. I believe that these difficulties are divine. They are life's lessons for our growth. People, who seem to have more difficulties than others, must be blessed; for they are being taught things that are important too them. If you had consciousness in the womb of your mother, you would have been distraught at the appendages that you were growing; as they have no use in that world. You were just being prepared for the next world (the one you are currently in). Now, you are experiencing tests that are preparing you for your future life and also preparing you for the next world.
There is nothing wrong with waiting longer before dating. I read a statistic somewhere that women are waiting much later to get married. I think it said something like 25 years old. Also, many women are opting to be alone for much longer; even for life. I suspect the same may not be true for men. But still there is plenty of time for you. Don't be so worried about what others think of you. It seems to be more important to you than to others. Rest assured that they are thinking more of themselves than they are about you. People do tend to have too high expectations of others. Then they want to manipulate others to be more like their expectations. That always ruins friendships and marriages. Are they really important to you?
Friendships and marriages are important to me. One thing that is funny about the men in my dad's side of the family is that we all feel like we cannot survive without a woman in our life. After my grandmother passed away, my grandfather just sat in his chair alone, with the lights off, no tv, etc. A few weeks later he was already dating, and found another woman. My grandfather first had a girl when he was 11. When my mom and dad split, my dad got into drugs even more. He found a woman about two months after.
I used to have a large masturbation problem, where I did it way too many times a day. When I was with the first girl, for a whole month, I didn't masturbate. Not even once. The funny thing is we never had sex or kissed or anything, it just brought a feeling that I didn't have a reason to do so. When we broke up, I went right back to masturbating a lot. It just shows it has a lot to do with genetics.
Can a razor/knife cause infection?
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