What are your views on this topic? I disapprove, strongly, because it is so unnatural, and unfair to the child. Am I too old-fashioned? What do you think? www.netdoctor.co.uk
British woman to give birth at 63
A 62-year-old woman is set to become Britain's oldest new mother later this year after becoming pregnant through IVF treatment.
Dr Patricia Rashbrook, a child psychiatrist from Lewes in East Sussex, is due to give birth at the age of 63 after receiving fertility treatment at Italian private fertility clinic.
In a joint statement, Dr Rashbrook and her husband John Farrant said that the decision to have a child at such a late age was not taken lightly.
"A great deal of thought has been given to planning and providing for the child's present and future well-being, medically, socially and materially," they said.
"We are very happy to have given life to an already much-loved baby, and our wish now is to give him the peace and security he needs."
However, the decision is likely to court controversy within the medical profession, as UK fertility clinics will not allow fertility treatment for women older than 45, due to the risks to both mother and baby associated with pregnancy in older women.
It is known that complications during birth and genetic abnormalities are more common the older the mother is.
Dr Rashbrook will become Britain's oldest new mother on giving birth, beating Liz Buttle, a Welsh farmer who was 60 when she gave birth to her son after lying about her age to receive fertility treatment at a British clinic.
Xania,
I am 100% with you. Why couldn't they adopt one of the older kids who languish in foster care and desperately need love? I guess the world just can't go on without copies of their superior genes? Puhleeesee!
I lost my mom when I was in my 20's. I was not mature enough to cope with her dying process, and did not handle it well at all. I've felt guilty ever since, not to mention all of the advice and support I missed out on. I lost my dad soon after that and had to deal with major crises in life all alone (I had no siblings, like many kids born to older parents who just want the experience of being parents).
I go ballistic when I hear about all older celebrities having kids. People will emulate them.....people who don't have their financial means to provide for a child once they die. It's bad enough to have no parents throughout your adulthood, but even worse to be left with no money for support if your parents die far younger that what they are counting on.
I think part of this comes from baby boomers thinking they can live forever if only they do everything right in terms of exercise and eating and plastic surgery so they can fool themselves. Why not? They've gotten everything else they ever wanted. More selfishness from the "me" generation.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a parent, but this is insane.
But along that same line one of my business clients told me of a friend of his who fathered a child when he was 82. I don�t know if this is just ego or what, but it sure isn�t showing any love or concern for the child.
Tony Randall (for example) had his first child at age 77. Here's what his young widow said about the experience on Larry King Live.
Quote:
KING: We're joined tonight, a very special night, Heather Randall, the wife of good friend and a great talent, Tony Randall, the legendary stage, screen and TV actor who passed away last May at the age of 84. She's the mother of his two young children, 7-year-old Randall and 6-year-old Jefferson. How are they doing?
HEATHER RANDALL, TONY RANDALL'S WIDOWED WIFE: They're doing OK. It's rough.
KING: They miss their dad.
H. RANDALL: Oh, they feel the void. He was a huge presence.
KING: He was doting dad, was he?
H. RANDALL: He was absolutely doting. I mean he was a wonderful, warm caring presence. He would get on the floor with Jefferson and play Legos. He just adored them and they adored him. [...]
KING: When you met Tony, you were how old?
H. RANDALL: When I met him, I was 20. But we weren't involved.
KING: When you got involved, how old?
H. RANDALL: I was probably 23. I moved in with him when I was 24 and we married when I was 25.
KING: And he was how old?
H. RANDALL: 50 years older. In his '70s.
KING: What was the -- I understand attraction, a wide difference in age, I'm not one to speak. That wide, explain.
H. RANDALL: Oh, gosh. It wasn't planned.
KING: Could he have been your grandfather?
H. RANDALL: Yes. In fact there was a great story. My dad called him once, and he said Tony, it's your son-in-law, I mean father-in-law. My attraction to him had nothing to do with his age except that he was such a wise, caring, gentle man. Maybe wouldn't have been when he was 35 or 40.
KING: Had you been married?
H. RANDALL: I was 23 when I met him.
KING: Had you ever been engaged?
H. RANDALL: To someone, no.
KING: You were never in love?
H. RANDALL: Not really, no. I had college boyfriends.
KING: Didn't he fear, didn't he say things like, hey, 50 years?
H. RANDALL: Yes. In fact, he was reticent to get married. I kind of had to browbeat him. [...] We lived together for a year. I thought we would never get married, we would just live together.
KING: Why did you get married?
H. RANDALL: You know, I think he got sick, you know the flu or something. And I remember I was caring for him, and he just kept looking at me saying, it's so nice to have you care for me and you're just so wonderful. One day, I said, we should get married. He said, OK. So we did. Three days later we were In Rudy Giuliani's office getting married. It was very romantic.
KING: He [Giuliani] told me the other night that he married you.
H. RANDALL: Oh, he did? He was really wonderful to us. And not only did he marry us, he took extra care, would always come to Tony's events and galas and he spoke at his funeral. [...]
KING: What did you tell the kids? 7 and 6, difficult age.
H. RANDALL: I told them the next day. I didn't want to tell them right in front of...
KING: Did the kids visit him [when he was sick]?
H. RANDALL: They did.
KING: How did they deal with that, seeing their daddy sick?
H. RANDALL: It was scary. They went a couple of times and then it was just a little too much for them. [...]
KING: Now, this incredible figure in American life for so long, did you have to deal with it as almost two things, your husband, father, and national figure? I mean, it doesn't happen to everybody.
H. RANDALL: Well, you know what's funny, the kids, at school, they had to draw a picture of their family, and this was while he was still alive. And Jefferson drew -- he said, this is me and this is my sister Julie and this is my mommy, Heather and this is Tony Randall.
KING: My kids call me "Larry King Live." So how did you deal with that? Was it harder for you?
H. RANDALL: No. I enjoyed being with somebody so respected and admired, all of that. That's occasionally annoying, but not really.
KING: What was the hardest part of the age difference?
H. RANDALL: The age difference. I don't know.
KING: You got to [admit that when] they're '70s or 80s, they're set in their ways. A 23-year-old can change.
H. RANDALL: Absolutely set in his ways. I would have liked to maybe climb a mountain or something. And we went to London a lot on vacation. He knew what he wanted.
KING: He didn't camp out...
H. RANDALL: He'd kind of been there and done that. And we did things he was comfortable with. But that's OK. I have the rest of my life to climb mountains.
KING: Did he have a difficult time with the fact that he knew people alive when you weren't born.
H. RANDALL: Oh, it would drive me nuts. Well, we went to see a great play, "Terry Jones and the Heiress." And she was absolutely incredible. And he admitted she was, but he said, well Wendy Hiller in 1947 was so -- I wasn't there. Can I just enjoy Terry Jones right now, please?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Is it difficult for you, 50 years?
TONY RANDALL: No, not at all. We don't have that problem. The fact the year we shot the first "Odd Couple" was the year she was born. (LAUGHTER)
KING: Yeah, it's funny, Tony, but it's also unusual.
T. RANDALL: Yes. I taped the Saturday broadcasts of the opera. I'm always playing them. Last night I was playing Peter Grimes, wonderful performance with John Vicars. And I looked and it was taped in 1969. She said, that's before I was born. Things like that shock me.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: You said you met him at 20. Were you a fan?
H. RANDALL: I was a huge fan. I lived -- I grew up in Florida. And all I wanted was to live in New York. And I used to watch him on Johnny Carson. And he'd talk about his life in New York. And I used to think, that's what I want, a life like Tony Randall has in New York City.
KING: How did you meet him? At 20, how'd you meet him?
H. RANDALL: I was an NYU student. And they sent me up to his theatre to be an intern -- intern jokes can be inserted here. He always did. The first day, I was so excited to meet him. I was such a huge fan. And he was kind of mean to me.
KING: Really?
H. RANDALL: Yeah, he was. He was very nervous, I think, because it was first day of rehearsal of his big theater. But he was kind of mean. And I was really hurt. And I went home and I called my dad and I said, Tony Randall's mean. I don't know how I'm going to do this. And my dad said, well, you've got to learn to deal with it. You know, you're going to work with people you don't like. And the second day he was an angel.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TONY RANDALL: My first group of interns I hadn't met, picked out by others included this child, whom I barely noticed, although I did notice that she was certainly the hardest working of the interns. I was so involved with the work of getting this theater started. At the same time, my wife was dying. She was in the hospital. And I'd go from the theater to the hospital. And that was my life for months and months and months. And so I really didn't notice anything. And then the second year...
KING: She was an intern because she wanted to be an actress?
T. RANDALL: Yes.
I tried to use my interns for anything I could. And they got the first dibs on auditions. She auditioned for a part. The director, I had nothing to do with the director, chose her. I was delighted because I thought she was the best at the audition. And I began to notice this young girl.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Did you go watch him perform a lot?
H. RANDALL: Yes. And I was in some of the shows. And I would stand in the wings and watch him then Redgrave and Martin Sheen. I was in awe of the whole thing.
KING: Did he think he could have children?
H. RANDALL: No. He didn't.
KING: Were you surprised you got pregnant?
H. RANDALL: I wasn't, but he was.
KING: I know he was. He's told me.
H. RANDALL: And it was all natural, by the way, no help.
Jack loves to tell the joke -- Jack Klugman loves to tell the story. They were doing the "Odd Couple" in London at the time. And Tony knocked on the door and there's a big grin, he said the machinery still works.
KING: Did you expect a second child?
H. RANDALL: No. No. Julia was 5-months-old and I got pregnant again. I was like, oh my God. Tony was very proud. He felt very verile.
KING: Was he concerned that he wouldn't see them when he grow up?
H. RANDALL: Yes, very.
KING: Any older -- I'm faced with that myself -- any older person thinks about that.
H. RANDALL: I don't know. I don't know what to say. I suppose I have some strains of guilt over it. But he was a great father.
KING: And you wanted children?
H. RANDALL: Very much. I very much wanted children with him. I loved him so much, I wanted a piece of him.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Let's say you have a great longevity. I'm mean, let's say you have all the genes, you're in good health. You look great. Let's say you make 90. Your child is only going to be 15.
TONY RANDALL: 12.
KING: And your wife is going to be a very young widow with a child. Do you think about that?
T. RANDALL: Yes.
KING: And what do you do with the thought? Nothing you could do with the thought, I guess.
T. RANDALL: There's nothing I can do about it. My only hope is that I can live to see the child grow and enjoy the child and help educate the child for a reasonable period of time. But I don't believe that I'll live to see grandchildren.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: How did the platonic become romantic?
H. RANDALL: Well, one night we were in the dressing room and got -- I'm kidding.
KING: How does that occur?
H. RANDALL: I don't know. It just grew. His wife had died and I graduated from college and then I did another show for him.
KING: His wife died while you knew him?
H. RANDALL: Yeah. I met her a couple of times. She was very sick. And it just grew over a number of years. We were friends. And we'd see each other for dinner, or something. He was lonely and sad. And I don't know, I'd make him dinner. Things just slowly grew.
KING: One thing led to -- as they say.
H. RANDALL: Yes.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Where was your first date? Where did you go, you and her alone, date, evening, dinner, romantic? Honey, let's go eat?
TONY RANDALL: We always went out for a bite at rehearsals. That's all I remember. I've never done anything but work. When we got married, we went from the marriage ceremony in Mayor Giuliani's office, to rehearsal.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: I think it's nice to remember someone such an important figure. And as we said earlier, made us smile so much. We'll be right back.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Are you looking forward to fatherhood?
TONY RANDALL: Very much.
KING: Because at this age, it's going to be scary.
T. RANDALL: Well, look...
KING: Get ready, Tony.
T. RANDALL: All my life I wanted to be in a classical repertory theater, all my life I wanted to be a father, both happened after the age of 70. Who can -- who has such a story? It's remarkable! Who could have predicted such a story in his own life? That the best things that ever happened to me happened after the age of 70?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
T. RANDALL: OK, let's make a deal.
JACK KLUGMAN, ACTOR: Everybody dies at the same time. They die at the end of their lives. Well, I don't believe that's true with Tony. I don't think he was halfway through his life, all the things he wanted to do. Especially sharing with Heather, the growing up of his kids.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
T. RANDALL: I went through a period of numbness when I didn't know I was a living human being. I had no feelings.
KING: You were very close with your [first] wife?
T. RANDALL: I never saw people closer.
KING: You were interchangeable you looked like each other?
T. RANDALL: We began to look like each other, yes.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: That DIDN'T affect you [Heather]? Were there pictures of her [Randall's first wife] in the house?
H. RANDALL: A little bit. It's kind of hard to be jealous of someone that's passed away.
KING: What was his energy level like?
H. RANDALL: Until he got sick, until about the last two years of his life, it was unbelievable. I mean, he would be in the living room dancing around, making jokes, talking at the top of his lungs. I think I told you when I talked to you on the phone after he died, that he would go to the Louvre and he'd drag me along the Louvre for 8 hours.
KING: Was he always in good shape?
H. RANDALL: He was in great shape. And you know, another example of that when I was pregnant with Julia, he did "A Christmas Carol" at Madison Square Gardens, he did 14 shows a week.
KING: He was Scrooge?
H. RANDALL: He was Scooge. And he was 76, or 77. He did 14 shows a week. He was the only actor that did every single show. And never missed a show in his entire career.
KING: He did that other show too, about what is it oh something.
H. RANDALL: "Oh Captain?"
KING: No, no, no. That wonderful -- Oh, I'm trying to -- I'll think of it.
Relationship as a husband, what kind of husband was Tony? Because he was so busy and so career oriented, running a theater group and acting.
H. RANDALL: He was home a lot, though. As a husband, he was extremely devoted and kind and sensitive.
KING: Confirmed New Yorker?
H. RANDALL: Absolutely.
KING: His business to the coast had a return ticket at all times. H. RANDALL: He lived in the hotel, he lived in the Chateau Marmont (ph) and he came right home. And he you took him to the country, he would start to sneeze. He was just so a urbane.
KING: He was Woody Allen...
H. RANDALL: He was a Woody Allen New Yorker. Never set foot in a mall. He never ate a slice of pizza.
KING: What about with the kids? He was playful, right?
H. RANDALL: Very playful.
KING: They didn't wear him out?
H. RANDALL: No. He did great with him.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KING: What is it like at 81? I'm 67 and I have got a 2-year-old and a 10-month-old.
T. RANDALL: Nothing in life is the equal of it. And it's as if this is what I was waiting for all my life.
KING: Are you spritely? Can you stay with them?
T. RANDALL: Oh, Yes.
KING: Oh, there they are. Tell us who this is.
T. RANDALL: The little girl is playing the violin, the little boy is trying to play his guitar, he plays it backwards. I took this in the kitchen last night.
KING: Are they both daddy people?
T. RANDALL: Oh, Yes.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
H. RANDALL: I have this great image him -- and you probably have had to do the same thing -- he'd go to school for the parent-teacher conferences and he's sitting in the little chair that's 1 foot high with his knees up by his ears.
KING: I take my boys to school everyday.
H. RANDALL: You do? Well, Tony did, too, until he got sick.
KING: There's no thrill I get like it. No one can take them, I take them. That counts.
What do you think the kids are going remember most about him? Will they remember? You know, my father died when I was 9 1/2, and my brother was 6 1/2, has no memory of him. I have lots of memories of him at 9.
H. RANDALL: I think they will.
KING: Well, they'll see him.
H. RANDALL: They'll remember the television stuff. But, no, I think -- he used to take Julia to the opera a lot and she'd sit on his lap and she still talks about that. I hope that they won't forgot.
KING: Well, if he was on television, you have tapes, DVD's, right?
H. RANDALL: He was a huge presence, too, with so much energy. [...]
KING: What do you think Tony's legacy's going to be?
HEATHER RANDALL: Oh, that he was a great comedian and a great supporter of the arts and -- and a man that married a much younger woman at the end of his life and had kids. He was a stud at 75.
KING: He did not have children in his first marriage?
HEATHER RANDALL: He did not have children. But he's very proud of that. I mean, he was very proud of the press he got, you know, for being a studly older man. In fact, the only time he got mad at a tabloid article was when they said I'd been to a fertility clinic. He called his lawyers.
KING: You're kidding?
HEATHER RANDALL: Yes, he was really angry about that, and he said it was natural, I don't want people thinking she went to a fertility clinic.
KING: Do you remember your last conversation with him?
HEATHER RANDALL: Yes, yes.
KING: What did you talk with him about?
HEATHER RANDALL: He was ready to throw in the towel, and I said you can't. You know, I said you can't just give up like this. I said you didn't fight Frank Rich and all those critics and all those people all those years just to give up now, just to give up on your life now, you fought so hard your whole life. He said OK, OK, and then he never really came out of it. I found out I have a lot of strength that I didn't know I have. I'm OK. I mean, it's OK. I get through everything.
KING: And all of Tony's friends, of course, had to be very...
HEATHER RANDALL: They've mostly been great. Mostly been great.
KING: Now do you have them doting on you?
HEATHER RANDALL: Yes.
***
I think it depends on the people involved.
__________________
The Truth is out there...somewhere.
Did you notice how often the word "I" appears in that transcript? It is always: I wanted to experience this, I needed that, I wanted to try this, I thought I could handle it, etc.
I don't care if you can handle it. It is not about you and what you want.
I am still disgusted by both of them (King and Randall). You can throw Clint Eastwood in there too.
Roxie
Most of us, no matter what our age at conception, tend to express our desire for a baby in those terms. I said the same thing, "I want to experience motherhood," (etc.) even though I was only 33 at the time.
If a child is raised by his grandparents, we think nothing of the age disparity, but if an already grandparent-aged person wants to bear a child, we get an attitude. I guess we've forgotten that Sarah (Abraham's wife) bore a child at age 90.
It would be more altruistic, in my opinion, for such would-be parents to embrace an already born hard-to-place child, but perhaps this couple considered that, too.
To each his/her own, but I do feel sorry for the child. Comments from others in the future will no doubt be quite embarrassing, and might always be pushing him/her to a defensive attitude. :P :x
__________________
May you always have..Love to Share, Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!
golly.. does she realize she is going to be running after a 5 year old when she is 69? taking her kid to first grade when she is 70? trying to handle a teenager when she is 76 to 83?
not much fun for the kid either.
I hope she has a young husband with a lot of energy, and a love of children..
Pregnant at 63!
Linear Mode
