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\nThe recession and stock market has hit everybody really hard...
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\n My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
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\n Parents are hiding their children�s toys because they can\'t afford batteries.
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\n CEO\'s are now playing miniature golf.
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\nGoldman Sachs laid off 25 Congressmen.
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\n A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
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\n I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
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\n If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
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\n McDonald\'s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
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\n Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
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\n Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children\'s names.
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\n My cousin had an exorcism but couldn\'t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
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\n A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico �
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\n A picture is now only worth 200 words.
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\n The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
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\n Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
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\n And...
\n I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the stock market, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck..\r\n

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