https://www.npicenter.com/anm/templat...0712&zoneid=28

__________________
You're officially invited to come visit my new blog: www.healthyfellow.com

This is yet another of Harry's posts which could significantly effect the health of husband and me. Husband needs calcium to go back into his bones, and I shoud like to keep it out of my arteries.

Thanks, Gem!

Xania,

Please keep us posted on your husband's bone-health. I've got my mom on as many bone-building/sparring supplements as she's willing to take. For the time being, I've convinced her to forgo any medication ... though her doc is certainly pushing the "bone-building" meds.

Perhaps we can compare notes as we (hopefully) find positive results.

__________________
You're officially invited to come visit my new blog: www.healthyfellow.com

Harry, D has just started to take alendronate, as his bone condition is bad, and even I don't want to discourage him.
He is taking calcium and Vit D Supplements, and as many calcium containing foods as he can squeeze in. That's not a lot - his spinal curve means that there is not much space to accomodate his lungs and stomach, but at least he has stopped losing weight. He even accompanied me to the supermarket yesterday. He is despondent because he is unable to help with loading and unloading the car, after a re-stocking run so he feels himself to be burdening me with chores he used to do. I wish I knew how to boost his feeling of worth.
What can I do - say - that would let him know that he is needed and is an equal in the partnership?
That's what I need help with right now.

Of course, I shall be happy to share notes with you, as they occur.

One thing I could mention, which we found out too late to help D, - If your mother should suffer a vertebral fracture, a surgical repair can be successful, if done within a week of fracture. Longer than that, and it's too late. An orthopedic surgeon showed us D's fractures on the MRI and said that, now, he can repair that damage with cement. It reduces the spinal curve and gives almost immediate relief of pain.
D's fractures happened about a year ago

Xania, what about paperwork? can he help with.. say budgeting? preparing for taxes? research into acupuncture to help you? does he use the computer at all?

Xania,

I'll share with you everything my mom is taking - in the hope of increasing her bone-density.

I wish I knew how to effectively restore D's sense of self-worth. I can think of a few things, that I hope might be worthwhile suggestions ... but keep in mind that this is not my strong-suit.

First of all, I think it's important that he be made aware (if he's unaware) about all that he does contribute to your life. Our mates often times don't fully grasp (myself included) how much they mean to us. And why they mean so much to us. So, making sure that he grasps his actual worth, to you, seems vital.

Also, can you think of some new ways that D could help you with your daily tasks? I'm thinking specifically of things that he didn't used to do.

For instance, instead of helping with the more physical work ... perhaps he could help with some other work ... like taking care of the monthly bills, record-keeping, making the market-list, etc.

I'm not sure what he'd be comfortable/capable of doing but perhaps there are things that he could help with and perhaps that would help him to feel more useful?

I often do the laundry, wash the dishes, make the market-list, etc. These are often thought of as wifely-duties but they needn't be. In my mind, it's a matter of teamwork. We each pitch-in as is necessary.

Another idea might be for him to get involved with something more intellectual. Maybe he could mentor someone or take some Internet-based university courses.

My father recently retired. He's now taking a few anatomy courses at a local college and helping my mom with more of the household duties. This makes him feel better.

One last note, on the psychological/spiritual front. Both my mom and my wife have a very difficult time taking nutritional supplements. So, I regularly thank them for making the effort to take what I suggest.

Maybe that sounds odd but, the way I see it is that, they're making an effort to fight for their good health. It is an effort. A struggle. And they wage it every day. And they do it, in part, because they want to be here for all their loved one - including me.

So, maybe D needs to understand that all the efforts he's making (to regain his health) are efforts, in part, made on your behalf. It may be a different way of looking at a situation that has a more realistic and positive spin to it.

Oh, one more thing ... since prostate cancer is so common ... perhaps there are some local support groups (or online support groups) that might help his mindset? I'm certain that many, many men struggle with these issues. It's possible that being able to communicate with such men might help.

And now for an area that I'm more comfortable with ... supplements.

I advise my mom to take:

1. boron (3 mg)

2. Biosil (10 drops)

3. magnesium (800 mg - she takes part of it in the form of a liquid calcium/magnesium citrate, with added D)

4. a multivitamin mineral plus extra vitamin C

5. spruce lignans (good for both men and women)

6. vitamins D & K2 (about 2,500 IU of D and 90 mcg of K2)

7. OBP - https://www.aor.ca/int/related_research/obp.php

8. pomegranate - this may be gender specific ... though it's likely good for the prostate and much more

Stay strong!

__________________
You're officially invited to come visit my new blog: www.healthyfellow.com

Harry and Scorpiotiger, I do appreciate your responses to my post about husband's self-worth. I think I can do better from now on, on that level, anyway!